I wonder about life sometimes. Not sometimes. All the time. Maybe that's the problem. I admire people who are able to simply 'live'. Who go through life without questioning themselves, their situation and the people who surround them. More and more, i find that the only thing i want out of this life is to be someone who is able to accept things at FACE VALUE. Who doesn't feel the unrequited need to look for a hidden meaning behind every encounter and who doesn't insert a barrage of emotions into every conversation.
If i cant have that then what i want is to be able to crawl under the covers and block out the world until i feel that it is safe enough to emerge for air. Maybe i should try and build a bomb shelter. I've never been good with a hammer or nails.
Still, i have to admit - a life without drama would be a dull life indeed. A life without desire would be disillusioning. Desolate. The problem is that whenever one gets what they want, they don't want it anymore. Because the fulfillment and satisfaction of one need seems to bring with it a whole new (and heavy) suitcase of problems, insecurities and anxieties. All debilitating. All destructive.
This is a common problem. A recurring problem. A round and circular problem. A cycle of destruction and pessimism. It traps. And is unrelenting. It decays and rots. And it ruins.
The Self - Acceptance, Belief and Compassion. ABC. Three of life's most critical lessons to learn. Three of the most difficult and impossible. Everyday is a new day. Whether we choose to sink or float. Who knows. In the end, does it even matter.
