Limbo.

The state of a plateau/limbo/flux. Whatever.

Why??

1- It is EVEN and BALANCED and POLITE
2- There are no HIGHs or LOWs
3- It is BORING
4- BOREDOM is good when compared to the LOW of the LOWs.
5- It allows you to CONTEMPLATE and THINK without all the emotional clutter.
6- You learn to appreciate the SILENCE in your head.
7- You lose the need to desire.
8- You become KIND to yourself.
9- Its like Prozac but NATURAL.

But Only.

But only if this were true. It is. For a while. And then all of a sudden it isn't. You can be lying comatose for two hours in the afternoon heat and then all of a sudden wake up to the fact that life is meaningless, boring, dull, bleak, desolate. You wake up to the fact that you have become some what of a philosopher (almost as good as Aristotle), and that you have discovered the truth to Life- loneliness and sadness and happiness are one and the same and that eventually, we will all die. And alone too. But still, this doesn't make up for the fact that Life has a way of getting to you and making you want to fight and scream and roar against its natural flow.
To want to live a life of gross ExTREMITY but then realize that you cannot. To want to kick MODERATION and rationality in their asses and live fully in the HERE AND THE NOW. Completely.

And then you are angry. Angry at the world for being so rigid. Angry at yourself for not being brave enough or strong enough or religious enough or intelligent enough or paranoid enough or drunk enough or thin enough or sneaky enough or beautiful enough or two-faced enough or resilient enough or tall enough or careful enough or tough enough or bimbo enough or big enough or GOOD ENOUGH to simply Do Away WITH IT ALL and LIVE.

Because you know thats what you really want. And your satisfied that it all sounds so simple when you write it down.